When dealing with the institutions of this world, you may as well plan that you won’t receive any grace.  This has been my experience.  Now, I realize that credit unions, banks, credit card companies, etc. have to protect themselves from risk in order to stay in business, and that’s fine.  But just don’t expect much grace.  And what do I mean by grace?  Let me paint the picture.I am living and learning, even as I approach 40.  I have had many tough situations — divorce, business failure, lawsuits against me — that nearly made me whither.  Some things, I have brought on by ingnorance.  Some by foolishness.  Some though my own prideful sin.  Others (I’d like to think most)?  They just happened as a result of things beyond my control.  Let’s just say I screw up with gusto, but life sure has a way dropping the bomb on me as well.  Yet in spite of all my foibles and glaring failures, somehow, and beyond my comprehension, God lavishes his grace on me.  Not so with the credit union. 

I am Persona non grata.  Untouchable. A number.  A risk formula.  My do I feel valued.  I got behind on a payment after my business failed.  I caught it up.  The CU aged the past due even after I paid it and I was put into collections.  (I am getting vulnerable here.  It’s uncomfortable to admit financial weaknesses.  I feel like half a man.)  Suffice it to say, I became a high risk. A time of financial want for me caused a whole host of other problems.  The details would bore you, and I am not here to whine.  When I tried to complete a recent auto loan payoff that they would not complete without other requirements, I was at the point of having to ask for mercy and flexibility.  Can you imagine, they had none? 

Why is this important?  Through a slew of hard situations, both brought on by myself and not, I needed grace from a worldly institution.  And I got none.  Yet through this all, inspite of my bumbling mess ups and life calamities, God has worked out all of it.  He has cared for me, come along side me, and even fixed tangles I have been in.  In many cases, I have not deserved it — at all.  And I have beat up on myself, not believing that I was worthy of God’s profound grace.  And yet, that is the crux of God’s grace.  And I will never forget it. 

I can’t expect a overflowing, luscious serving of Grace as only God would serve it up from anything, or anyone.  I may get small little tastes along the way, but they are only the hors d’uvres.  The much bigger feast is on the way. 

The 77s said it well.  They have entirely summed up the essence of my life. 

When I gave up, you held up
When I ran out, you filled me up
When I kept runnin’, you kept up
When I let you down you lifted me upThis is the way love is

When I couldn’t find the words, you understood
When I didn’t find the time, you were in no hurry
When I wouldn’t make ends meet, you tied them together
When I cheated you kept to the rules

Well, this is the way love is
This is the way love is
When it’s a one-sided double-minded mirror with no reflection

When I was keepin’ it in, you were givin’ out
When I was losin’ out, you’d let me come back
When I was holdin’ back, you were holdin’ on
When I was losin’ my cool you were keepin’ your love warm

Well, this is the way love is
This is the way love is
When it’s a one-sided double-minded mirror with no reflection

When I kept it all to myself like a miser holds on to his last dime
When I closed up myself like a desperate hand on a lifeline
Well I was bled, I was dried, all wrapped up in my pride
This is the way it is when you’re on the wrong side

Well, this is the way love is
This is the way love is
When it’s a one-sided double-minded mirror with no reflection

This Is The Way Love Is by Mark Tootle and the 77s.

 

This entry was posted on Saturday, January 14th, 2006 at 10:19 am and is filed under Alex's Life, By Alex, Life, Music, Spiritual Formation. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.